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What leaders can do to become effective coaches for their teams

Business leaders are also expected to be effective coaches. Here's what they can learn from executive and life coach Keith Nelson's book, Your Total Coach

6 June 2015· 1 min read

Your Total Coach

By Keith Nelson

Slide

The basic premise

This book is based on two principles: coaching is about raising performance and is based on psychological principles.

What coaching is all about

Coaching is goal focused, seeks to raise performance and energy and is positive.

A person's thinking is a key determinant towards the ultimate level of performance.

It can unlock potential

John Whitmore said, "Coaching is unlocking a person's potential to maximise their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them."

Set expectations

Clarifying expectations is essential at the outset to coaching.

Set goals

Goals are one of the fundamental building blocks for coaching. The coach adds value by giving multiple perspectives.

Bring awareness

Awareness and responsibility lie at the heart of coaching. The coaching depends on raising the awareness, and awareness leads to responsibility.

Listen

Listening is the heartbeat of the coaching conversation. Without effective listening, we cannot coach.

Listening doesn't stop with the ears. Listening is about :

Listening with the EARS

Listening with the EYES

Listening with the HEART

Give feedback

Feedback is one of the greatest gifts that one person can give another. Quality feedback leads to generating higher awareness

Show empathy

Empathy and showing empathy is an essential ingredient in coaching. It is a continuum between apathy and sympathy.

Apathy - Empathy - Sympathy

Empathy is the ability to see the world from the other person's perspective. It is sometimes described as walking for an hour or so in the other person's shoes.

Avoid the extremes of apathy and sympathy

Apathy is where we can't be bothered. The other person's perspective doesn't matter. It is not a place for the coach to be in. The other end is sympathy. In a sympathy mode, the coach is taking on the problems and that's not good.

Let go of judgement

Learning to let go of judgement is one of the fundamentals for effective coaching. It requires acceptance of the other person. It is too easy to write off individuals or teams in terms of their performance.

Knowledge

Private

Known only to self, i.e. the private world, hidden from others

Public

What others know and you also know about yourself

Unknown

Unknown to both you and others

Blind spot

Not known to you, but known to others

Prioritize

Not Important Important
Urgent Most common mistake of managers, this is comfort with routine Do it now
Not Urgent Forget it Think through clearly, more long term

Build trust

Self disclosing is an important step in coaching self development - this helps build trust.

Make a connection

The top coaches are always 'people people'. Their ability to connect effortlessly and maturely with people helps them win.

Reduce interference

Performance = Potential minus Interference

Coaches work with their people to reduce interference - this is usually focus, distractions, time and discipline management, etc.

Challenge and support

Not Supportive Supportive
Challenging Most used, mostly bullying leaders Rare , but gets best results
Not Challenging Indifferent, typical of bureaucratic firms Abdication

Integrate thought and feeling

Emotional Intelligence combines head and the heart. It integrates thoughts and feelings.

Silence can be helpful

The presence and use of silence helps create significant learning in coaching.

Be committed

True coaching needs commitment from both sides. A commitment to be in a better place than before!

Your Total Coach

By: Keith Nelson

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